As a fair few of you know my breasts often behave very badly, they are not sick (thankfully) just very fibrous and feel like they are full of broad beans. Some beans are still in their pods and some have been ejected from their pods and are creating havoc and attaching themselves to areas where they do not belong.
I really don’t get what is so glamorous about breasts but then I don’t think penises are very attractive either, maybe they are just a necessity. Guess some of our visual expectations would be shattered if they weren’t on parade somewhere at some time.
Mount Hospital has become like a second home over the years, and there is never anything wrong with me, all precautionary, just in case we turn a wrong corner. Of course for that I am eternally grateful and lucky, some are not so fortunate.
It feels like it was years ago that I had that mini surgery (if you fancy a review visit here here and here and here) but apparently it was only in March of this year, as usual I treat myself to my annual Christmas check up, they thought it was advisable that I paid them a visit.
Admittedly I did have new concerns and rang to make an appointment to discover that I already had one two days later. Why do I share I hear you ask?
Because so many woman are in the same boat and may be interested in what happens and what to expect. My breasts were very tender I blame hormones, mine are ridiculously sensitive and I realised there were some ridges (broad beans) that weren’t there before, now I’m not the slightest bit concerned but you never know you often hear of people who don’t act and before you realise it’s too late.
Well I for one along with the majority of the population haven’t finished with my lot yet, so I want to hang in for a fair bit longer, you know, weddings, grand children, holidays, unexpected
I arrived 10 minutes early and was lead through to my doctor who let me tell you has a rubbish bedside manner but I reckon that’s what you get when you are good right?
On to radiology, the curtains parted, you know the drill, remove upper clothing and jewellery and wrap your self in the lovely blue gown. My scanner today was Jenny and she had the most awesome hair ( I let her know), Jenny was very friendly, she took so bloody long I nearly fell asleep, twice. Thorough you would say very thorough, she kept measuring and re measuring and then checking the previous files.
They then packed me off to have the mammogram and can I just say that the new machine is awesome , you don’t feel quite so pancake like or that your breast is going to leave a permanent imprint on the table top thingy.
Next up biopsy was the name of the game, oh goody I’ve had a few of these in my time I can tell you. I’ll let you in on a secret they bloody well hurt.
Once again we find ourselves laying on a bed in a brightly lit room, partially naked but this time covered in a blanket, the jolly man strides in, greetings all round, explanations given, check we are going to needle the right side, then his magic kind heartened well meaning words.
‘This won’t hurt, you’ll feel a pin prick’
‘ I don’t believe you I’ve been here before’
‘No I’m good I promise it won’t hurt’
So as my body involuntarily jumped towards the ceiling, he’s all apologetic, I looked him in the eye and said!
‘You owe me’!
He agreed and apologised profusely, then we find he has to repeat the process as he didn’t get enough of a sample the first time
Then he proceeded to say that the area around the nipple is very sensitive
No shite sherlock
See you next year
Merry Christmas my friends, have a safe and happy holiday season xxx