All the star signs I am reading in the paper before and after Christmas keep telling me that this year will be testing, great bring it on! I like to be prepared and need to know what’s ahead of me.
As I quietly slurped my coffee, relaxing on a Sunday morning in my PJ’s with the paper spread out before me at 6am, the birds squawking making a racket and surrounding me, keeping me amused as they swoop on the cats, who as I write this are scrambling for cover.
I love this time of the morning, the stillness before the usual suburban sounds assault the air, generally I have stumbled out of bed, changed into walking gear and can be found pounding the streets. I make it back around 7am just as Michael, having made his way out of bed is standing in the entrance, confused and bleary eyed, not knowing whether to scratch his balls or his head, looking around for the paper.
For some reason he always looks shocked that I am returning from a walk when he is just getting up.
Sometimes, well most of the time his brain trails behind his actions
The news in Rae’s Pleasantville is that I will be studying my second unit at Uni (online) and am very fearful of failure. Which is nothing new as school wasn’t my thing, but lets not dwell on the past otherwise getting out of bed will take more of an effort. Enough of an effort now when I wake up most mornings feeling like I haven’t slept at all, deflated that no morning is any different. My body is stiff, my shoulders ache, I seek solitude and strong coffee.
I have regrets, yes, I didn’t go back to learning earlier in my life due to my fear of failure, the fact that my mother would beat me with my school books around the head and body probably didn’t encourage me to learn either.
I have seen the error of my ways and now spend a large amount of time encouraging and preparing my students for not only completing their study with me but to re enrol in another course.
Lessons learnt and sharing the love of empowerment
After reading the horoscopes I see that my whole year will be one ball of anxiousness if I let it
I passed the last unit, don’t quite know how as my referencing sucked, but not as much had Samantha not helped me, then I got a task completely wrong, however I have heard from my tutor that I was not alone.
- The young woman at uni who looked up my score for me said I did well
- Yes I had to seek help as I couldn’t even figure out how to find my grade
- Then I got locked out of the student portal as my password had expired
- Some lovely young man on a Sunday helped me over the phone reset it
- But you guessed it, I still couldn’t figure it out
- So I hightailed it to ECU (Edith Cowan University) Joondalup to talk and see a real person
So this term I have to do better if not for anyone else but me
I am referred to as an expert in my field, I wear that like a ginormous chain around my neck. (clearly they are mistaken, I can just talk the talk).
My star sign in the mornings weekend paper stated that the year ahead is going to take a lot of graft, so no play for Rae for a whole year, or at least the next 6 months.
My crushing word for this year before that idea of choosing a word for the year was suggested and was circulating in blog land was my decision to overcome my fear, I am guessing a word is a replacement for a resolution.
Along with the word fear was my challenge of
- Not to let others drag me down
- Not miss out on experiences because of naysayers
- Wear my fear on my shoulder and invite fear to journey with me
Sounds easy doesn’t it, thought I was clever till I saw that in this weeks horoscopes that this run of hard graft is going to take TWO YEARS, think I need to stop reading the horoscopes.
So when you call on me and find me curled up in a foetal position on the floor
Please pick me up kick my ass and scream in my ear
Don’t let fear get the better of you
A hug wouldn’t go astray either